I love you even though you're awful. I love you even though you're selfish, even though you've treated me like shit, even though you will continue to hurt me, knowingly.
I love you even if I'm mad and don't want to talk to you. Even if you seem to have changed personalities.
I love you even though I was dissatisfied. I love you even though you'd never give me what I want.

I love you even though I don't know if we could ever be happy together.
But I love you madly, deeply, whole.

I love you even though I've never told you.
But now it's all I can say.

I love you and wish I could give you the world. But I can't.

I love you and it feels like it's never gonna stop. Will it?

I don't want a second-best life. Mostly 'cause it's not a close second.

like dylan in the movies.

Yeah you're worth the trouble, and you're worth the pain
and you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I would love you over
I would love you

watching over the emtpy battlefield

So, insomnia. It kinda sucks. But
at least there are no dreams. Damn.

I though it would come eventually, but honestly I had forgot.
Without the despair, without the fear of what will come
when life doesn't seems to be crumbling anymore
or all the pieces have already fallen, waiting to be rearranged
(much like my bedroom floor)

Now I miss him. And now I can appreciate him.
Now it hurts in a much more subtle way, and it seems to linger on.

que es un soplo la vida..

She's making dinner for two (three?) while he's playing guitar, taking a shower, or god knows what.
She's singing a song while watching the rice (her son playing on the kitchen floor).

"Mi vieja cantaba, a veces, un tango, y sus ojos se llenaban de otro lugar"

vamos mi cariño todo va a estar bien,

esta noche cambiaré, te juro que cambiaré.

vamos mi cariño ya no llores más,

yo por ti bajaría al sol, y me hundiría en el mar.

§

I'm lonely. I'm sad. I don't like it.
I want more. I want more. I want more.
I miss feeling loved. I miss feeling good.
I want more. I want more. I want more.

dreaming.

i once said i hated to have nice dreams.
but it's not the dream i hate. it's the waking up.
it feels like i can almost touch him, he's just right there on the edge of my subconscient.
but i can't. and i close my eyes again and wish to keep dreaming, but i'm wide awake
and awake i know it's just a dream. i'm not ever going to touch him, or be talking to him like that.
but it just feels so real.

i.. really need a hug.
human contact. a man's arms around my waist and a man's chest to hide my head in.
but a new man. really, a new man.

worst possible scenario.

Three people are walking down the street at about 5 in the morning. A fourth person is there too, walking towards an apartament building from across the street.
In the first group there are two girls and a boy, one of the girls is clearly very high and the other two are sort off carrying her and keeping her awake.
The boy from across the street gets to his front door, and looks at the group who are walking away from him. He recognizes the very high girl, stays in shock for a few seconds and shouts a name. The girl who was carrying her friend turns her head, and looks terrified. She tells the boy to hurry up. The other boy keeps shouting the name. Suddenly the very high girl reacts. She ask her friends what's going on, they say nothing but she said she heard someone call her name. They tell her she's crazy and laugh, but she won't keep walking. She looks terrified and screams what the hell happened?! Then she stops, opens her mouth and begins to cry. She falls on the floor.
The boy is still in his front door. He is standing there and looks at the scene horrified and somewhat disgusted. He's paralysed.
The girl keeps crying, and screaming out loud, like she was being torn apart with pain. The boy next to her takes her in her arms and starts walking, while she keeps crying. The other girl walks towards the boy standing there.

- This, this is all you. All because of you. She's a mess. And I'm just trying to keep her from dying. So you stay the fuck away from her, or I swear I'll kill you.

She's got tears in her eyes. He just stands there.